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Sweet Tart, I mean, MAYOR Sweet Tart!

If you’ve been losing more and more faith in this country and our ability in voting the right bitch in, then this story may lift you up and give you the hope you need. Because in Michigan, there’s a teeny town where the people take their vote seriously and voted in the candidate who will definitely lead them in the right direction. The citizens of Omena, Michigan saw Cormorant, Minnesota’s fluffy white dog mayor and raised them a cat mayor.

Most politicians are big pussies, but the mayor of Omena is an actual big pussy, and that’s exactly the kind of political representation we need. KXAN says that last Saturday, Omena’s historical society held a mayoral election where the many candidates battled it out in an ugly, ugly fight for the crown of the city. There was probably barking, hissing, shitting and clawing. So basically like any other election.

Besides Mayor Sweet Tart, the candidates included 13 dogs, a peacock, a goat, and a chicken. Omena only has 280 citizens, but 7,000 people voted and that had a lot to do with the town’s highly-advanced voting system. People from far and wide were able to vote through PayPal. They had to pay $1 to vote and all proceeds will go to the historical society.

Mayor Sweet Tart won the people over thanks to being first in her class and having more political experience than the lump on America’s asshole who is currently president:

I served from 2012-2015 on the Omena Village Council, and from 2015-2018 as Omena Vice Mayor. While I’m home schooled, I graduated first in my class!

I represent the best of Leelanau County with the Sweet and Tart cherries. I have had experience with governing/supervising my household. And having been Vice Mayor for 3 years, fulfilling all my expected duties, I know I could handle the Mayor position.

Mayor Sweet Tart’s cabinet is made up of First Vice Mayor Diablo The Dog, Second Vice Mayer Punkin The Dog, Press Secretary Harley The Goat, and Special Assistant Penny The Chicken.

Mayor Sweet Tart will be the head pussy of Omena until 2021. The president of the historical society said that she will use her paw to sign all official documents:

“They have their paw. We accept paw prints. Legal documents can be executed with a paw print.”

And here’s a pic of newly elected Mayor Sweet Tart ruling her kingdom:

Michigan village elects cat named Sweet Tart for mayor https://t.co/TLACIHvEZw

— Detroit Free Press (@freep) July 25, 2018

Sweet Tart is a seasoned politician and so she really should reach higher than the mayor of a town of 280. She should hand over the mayoral tiara to First Vice Mayor Diablo and run for POTUS in 2020. I’m ready to vote for Sweet Tart, the pussy who will grab back the presidency in 2020!

Pic: KXAN