Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 18, 2018 / Posted by:

The magnificent Jeff Goldblum statue in London! 

Yes, that pug is pregnant now. Pray for those pug’s down-low parts, because in (insert however many months it takes for a statue/canine fetus to fully bake) a giant metal statue with a puppy pug face is going to come out of there.

When I first read this morning that a giant almost-shirtless Jeff Goldblum statue caused erections by getting erected in front of Tower Bridge in London, I tried to remember if I read about England suffering from a drought. Because the only reason I could think of for a giant almost-shirtless Jeff Goldblum statue is to cure a drought by summoning a million coochie geysers. But CNET says that the statue of JG sensually lounging as Dr. Ian Malcolm, his Jurassic Park character, is some marketing shit for the 25th anniversary of the movie. CNET delivered the details of the statue, but they failed at delivering the details we care about, like how long that bulge is.

The giant statue of Goldblum stands at over 9.8 feet (3 meters) high and nearly 23 feet (7 meters) long, and weighs in at 331 lbs (150 kilograms). The impressive statue took over six weeks and 250 painstaking hours to make.

And here’s another glorious image of the glorious Jeff Goldblum statue, and from this angle he sort of looks like my uncle. Just put a Corona in his hand and put a front yard TV in front of him, and he would be my uncle. Just think of how much tongue gunk that nipple is going to get covered with from people climbing up to lick it? A new disease is going to sprout up thanks to that inviting Goldblum nip knob:

It’s both a little scary and sexy. If you stare into its eyes, you don’t know whether your whole body is going to turn to stone or just your peen or clit.

Pics: Wenn.com

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