As the Slovenian Mrs. Waterford that is Melania Trump wondered when it was a good time to bust out her escape plan by changing into a Corgi costume before humping Prince Philip’s horny ole’ leg so he can take her inside, her master Donald Trump bonded with THE QUEEN during their meeting about their love of not paying taxes and their little bitches (hers being Corgis, his being his sons). THE QUEEN had to deal with Trump herself, but sources tell The Times of London (via The Hill) that the next Kings of England, Prince Charles and Prince William, were supposed to make an appearance, but made like the hair that was on their head and said “fuck it” before quitting that shit.
Before Trump used his dehydrated sardine lips to declare his allegiance to Mother Russia, he had a tea date with THE QUEEN at Windsor Castle on Friday. There was reportedly talk of Charles and Willy joining THE QUEEN so she wouldn’t have to be the only one to choke on a swig of English Breakfast tea as Trump said, “Yick, this is the most terrible donut I’ve ever had, the ones at Trump Tower are so much better than this garbage,” after biting into a scone. But a source says that Charles decided that he’d rather go to a boring board meeting for his company than meet Trump, and William went to a charity polo match. Prince George would’ve gone, but he already had a FaceTime date with his good friends the Obamas to shit talk Trump. The source said this:
“This business of Prince Charles and Prince William not being there for the Trump visit was a snub. They simply refused to attend. It’s a very, very unusual thing for the queen to be there on her own. Usually she is accompanied by somebody. Prince Charles has been substituting for Philip a lot recently.”
The Palace denies all of this, but like those neutral bitches would admit to the snub. Prince Philip didn’t go either, which is surprising since I would think his idea of a funky good time would be to spit out racist jokes with a fellow mess.
And it’s best for everyone that Prince Charles and Prince William didn’t meet Jabba The Trump, because nobody wants to hear him mouth shit out, “Wait, is this Di’s kid? I’m gonna need to his HIV results before shaking his hand!”