Harvey Weinstein Is Doing His Own Paralegal Work

July 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Back when I was six or seven and my mom would let me skip swimming practice to watch Oprah after school, I was always transfixed by those ITT Technical Institute commercials that came on right after the ambulance chaser lawyer ads that said you could be entitled to millions if you had taken Fen-Phen. Since I had never taken Fen-Phen, I knew my fortunes would have to lie elsewhere: like that high-paying paralegal career promised by ITT Tech! I knew I’d be rich. Alas, I chased my fortunes elsewhere in freelance writing (* cough *),  but Harvey Weinstein apparently shared my dream because he’s now working as a paralegal on his own defense strategy for being arguably one of the worst people in the world. Or, y’know, his lawyers just didn’t want to punish any of their good paralegals by making them work near Harvey.

As y’all know, Harvey is facing several charges. Vanity Fair says Harvey’s latest court appearance in Manhattan was earlier today where he pled not guilty to three new charges including predatory sexual assault and a criminal sexual act. The assault charges could land him anywhere from ten years to a life in prison. Last month, he pled not guilty to two previous rape charges and one charge of a criminal sex act.

At a press conference following today’s hearing, his lawyer, Ben Brafman, said he’s taken on paralegal work as a side-hustle since he probably couldn’t even score a job shoveling elephant poo at the local zoo. And yes, Harvey is working on his own case, but even though he’s working on his case, he was mostly quiet during today’s hearing.

Towards the end of the hearing, both teams signed orders of protection for the unnamed accusers, with the judge reminding Weinstein that he may not contact them in any way whatsoever. Weinstein was a largely silent figure during the hearing.

Ben also said Harvey is reading the occasional script because he still hopes he can get back into moviemaking. Somehow, I think those occasional scripts have all been written by Matt Lauer, Kevin Spacey, and Charlie Rose.

Harvey also caused a bit of a fuss at the end of the hearing today by stopping because he thought he forgot his wallet before Ben assured him that he did have his wallet because any money going in that wallet may as well be direct deposited into the Ben Brafman Esquire Venmo account. He didn’t say that last part, but it was implied. He is a lawyer, after all!

Pic: Wenn.com

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