That Time Andy Dick Groped Ivanka Trump

July 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Remember Andy Dick? He rubs his dick on people, he’s a petty thief, he was fired for sexual harassment, and oh yeah, he recently was charged with sexual battery? Well, add another thing to the list of shit Andy Dick needs to be punished for: making me feel sympathy for Ivanka Trump.

People found a video which has recently resurfaced from 2007 where Andy was on Jimmy Kimmel‘s show to promote something or maybe he just skulking around in the hallways as he surely does. Ivanka was also on the show (probably promoting her copied shoe designs) and Andy took the opportunity of sitting next to a someone to act like a real perverted weirdo; words he is synonymous with.

Andy was enthralled by the glitter on Ivanka’s legs (or the fairie demons his drug-induced visions caused him to see dancing on them) and he decided to reach out and touch them. Ivanka playfully moved his hand away but Andy persisted so much that Jimmy actually has to get up to make him stop.

Andy was later removed from the show in a “joking” manner. I doubt the level of joke it was, as Jimmy had this to say after the episode aired:

“She came out, he wanted a big, wet kiss. It was time for Andy to go, so I escorted him out by his feet… He’s Andy. He’s not upset. He’s not apologetic. He’s just nutty. He always makes me a little uncomfortable… You have no idea what he’s going to do next.”

I’ll tell you what he’ll do next: the same gross shit he’s currently doing. He never stops.

Andy himself made reference to the moment a year go by posting it to his Instagram:

I love how he put groped in quotations like it isn’t a provable fact from the image he himself is providing. That time I “sexually battered” someone, amirite?!

This man is all four horses of the Apocalypse rolled into one. Every time Andy Dick speaks I feel my body clench with distrust. I don’t know how to describe it; his voice sounds like he just slithered out of a wet drain on a sticky summer day with the intention to rob you of your shoes after doing eight-grams of blow and giving a sewer-dwelling mole-man a sloppy blowjob. Ivanka looks drastically uncomfortable and I feel bad for 2007 Ivanka. Of course Andy Dick would be the cause of this! Doesn’t he know those glittery legs are for one man only? Daddy Donald Trump.


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