Archives: July 2018

Open Post: Hosted By “The Golden Girls” Action Figures (!!!)

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Why did the cool toys only come out AFTER I entered middle age?!?! Logo reports that the most exciting project to be unveiled at this year’s Comic-Con is the trailer for NOTHING. It’s toys! Picture it, San Diego, 2018 – Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, Rose. The Golden Girls are now action figures! You (and I guess your kids, but they’ll have no idea what to do with elderly female action figures, so probably just them to you) can now own the four sassiest ladies in Dade County. And they are expensive. But c’mon, to actually have them in your home is priceless! (They better come with a plastic cheesecake.)

The new Golden Girls set is already available for pre-order for $114.99, and it will hit store shelves in the first quarter of next year.

Will there be an “out on the lanai” playset?

The figures are “highly articulated” so you can imagine and act out all of those sexy Blanche scenes that they couldn’t show on NBC in the 80’s. There’s no Mel Bushman figure yet, so you might have to settle for pairing her with G.I. Joe.

Official #goldengirls pics from the new #neca 8 inch action figure line. #sdcc

A post shared by Sean Lauzon (@shoeguy76) on

Pic: Instagram

John Schneider Chooses Jail Time Over Paying Alimony

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

The largest divide of the 21th Century was arguably when teenagers and horny middle aged moms alike were forced to choose between “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward.” Twilight may have destroyed friendships and ripped families apart, but 20th century historians are highlighting an even more influential rift from the early 1980’s, and that is “Team Bo” versus “Team Luke.

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“Buffy The Vampire Slayer” Is Getting A Reboot

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

(Note: This post contains spoilers for the tv and comic book versions of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was and is the greatest television show in existence. Convo ended, it is what it is. Even season six (that was the season Buffy battled depression, so she was letting Spike bend her over balconies at the Bronze) was better than most anything else on your screen vee. The show ended in 2003 after seven seasons, and its creator Joss Whedon continued it to middling success in comic book form for five more. (Dude, Xander and Dawn got together. As a couple. Can you hear my frown?) The huge news this weekend is that Joss is executive-producing a new version for Fox 21 TV Studios, which is the cable/streaming division of 20th Century Fox TV, according to Deadline. (No, really – Dawn and Xander even HAD A BABY.) Continue reading

Anthony Anderson Is Under Criminal Investigation For Assault

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Black-ish star Anthony Anderson is being investigated by the LAPD Hollywood division for assault. I wish I could report that his only crime was assaulting our eyes with the adult onesie above, but unfortunately it’s for something far more sinister. The Blast says that the charges filed last week were by a woman who formerly worked with Anthony. Grab the closest kitten and start petting away, because it looks like we have the latest installment of fuckery to be logged into the #MeToo tome.  Continue reading

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“Guardians Of The Galaxy” Director James Gunn Was Fired For Offensive Tweets

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Much like a cubic zirconium, the internet is forever. Unless there is some sort of electromagnetic pulse extinction event, that ass up pic you drunkenly sent the guy you were dating in 2005 is eventually going to rear its ugly head. Hopefully not in your future son’s spank bank. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 writer/director James Gunn has learned this lesson the hard way. Disney has fired him from helming Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 after some messy tweets of his from 2007 surfaced. Continue reading

Jude Law On Dumbledore’s Sexuality In The New “Fantastic Beasts” Movie

July 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Five-time bareback baby maker Jude Law is playing the young Albus Dumbledore in the Harry Potter prequel film series Fantastic Beasts And How To Employ Every British Actor At Once. His Dumbledore makes his first appearance in the latest one, The Crimes of Grindelwald, and blah blah blah Snape blah blah blah horcrux just get to the point – does he get any peen in the flick?

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