Mrs. Rojo Caliente Vows To Continue To Run For Governor Even Though She Lost The Democratic Party Nom 

May 24, 2018 / Posted by:

The blacklist at the admissions office of Heaven just got a lot, lot longer with the names of the evil morons who dared to vote against Cynthia Nixon for governor of New York. A vote against Cynthia Nixon is a vote against Rojo Caliente, and a vote against Rojo Caliente is a vote against everything that is good and holy. Those dumb fucks are going to realize they made a mistake when they end up in Hell and find out that the only thing served in the Ninth Circle cafeteria is Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa Cake.

As we all know, Cynthia is running for governor of New York against the current governor of New York, Mr. Sandra Lee (aka Andrew Cuomo). I’m not a Citizen of New York anymore and Cynthia isn’t really qualified to be the head of NY, but she still has definitely won my vote for three reasons: 1. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente. 2. She wants to legalize the good shit there. 3. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente.

Cynthia has been running as an anti-establishment Democrat, and her message is that New York needs a big change. The New York Democratic Party probably shook with fear over “big change” and continued to show that they’re allergic to shaking shit up by overwhelmingly voting to endorse Cuomo. Who cares about them! Cynthia Nixon has already won the support of Samantha Jones and that’s the only endorsement that matters!

The NY Democratic Convention was held yesterday, and Cuomo got 95% of the votes. That really wasn’t a surprise since the big members of the party, including Hillary Clinton, backed his ass. Cynthia got 5% of the votes, which was 20% short of what she needed to secure the party’s endorsement. A rep for her campaign told HuffPo she knew she wasn’t going to get it.

“I am attending the convention today because New York Democrats deserve to have at least one actual Democrat running for governor at their state convention,” Nixon said Wednesday at the state’s Democratic Convention, admitting that she never expected to nail the 25 percent of votes needed to receive the party’s endorsement. “We are here to show we are not afraid, and this is our party too, and that voters have an alternative.”

Cuomo won 95 percent of the vote, which according to Nixon’s team didn’t come as a shock.

The fact that Cuomo would snag the endorsement was “100 percent expected,” Nixon campaign spokeswoman Lauren Hitt told HuffPost. “Most people running for office will have to collect signatures to be on the ballot. It’s not seen as any significant hurdle.”

Mrs. Rojo isn’t out, though. In New York state, winning the endorsement from your party only means that you don’t need to collect petition signatures to get a place on the ballot in the primary election in September. Cynthia believes she’ll get the 15,000 signatures needed.

The tragic truth is, Cynthia Nixon is probably not going to be governor this time around. But when she loses, she’ll get to cry on the magical freckled bosom of Rojo Caliente as Andrew Cuomo has to pretend grin while taking a bite out of Sandra Lee’s victory cake (two layers of Twinkies sandwiching three thick layers of strawberry Fruit Roll-Ups and covered with Toaster Strudel jizz and Hershey-dipped maraschino cherries). So who’s the real winner?!


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