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May 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Water Talkies!

Water Talkies, which I’m not sure is around anymore, were/are plastic devices that made it possible to talk underwater. If you’re thinking to yourself, “That annoying mess must’ve been invented by a 10-year-old boy, because most grown ups go underwater to escape the insufferable sounds of their family talking and all they want to do is be alone with their thoughts and the sound of themselves slowing suffocating,” you’re right! Water Talkies was invented in 1995 by┬áRichie Stachowski, who was 10 years old at the time.

Kidzworld says that Richie came up with the idea while snorkeling with his dad in Maui. Little Richie got so excited about the fish he saw and wanted to tell his dad about it, but couldn’t since they were not mermaids who communicate with bubbles or whatever. So Richie spent the rest of his vacation planning and designing the toy that later became Water Talkie. Since this was long before the days of Shark Tank (and you know Mr. Wonderful would’ve killed Richie’s dreams and caused him to fall into a deep depression by calling his invention more useless than mermaid shoes), Richie had to do things the old-fashioned way by pitching it to Toys “R” Us. They bought what Richie was selling.

Three months and $267 later, after tests in the bathtub and fish tank, Richie pitched his water talkies to Toys “R” Us. Richie had invented a toy that allows people to talk to each other underwater. Words don’t come out clearly and you have to be within a certain range to hear but it’s one of a kind. His two hour speech resulted in his water talkies being placed in every Toys “R” Us store. During the first three month, it brought in over $50,000.

Richie ended up starting his own toy company called Short Stack, and Short Stack was reportedly later sold for $7 million before he even started high school. He pretty much became Richie Rich.

When I was 10 years old, my greatest accomplishment was farting and burping (furping) at the same time. Come to think of it, that’s still my greatest accomplishment. So it may sound like I’m furping up three loads of jealousy when I type this, but I’m not that impressed with the Water Talkie. I mean, you have to hold it with your hands, and how can you play “tea party” underwater while holding some shit with your hands? Everyone knows that the only reason to go underwater in a pool is to play tea party with your friends.

With that being said, I am jealous of Richie Rich. Imagine being 10 years old and inventing a scam product that will go on to make you millions? A true legend!

Pic: Wikipedia

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