The Official Royal Wedding Portraits Have Been Released

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Did you know there was a royal wedding this weekend? If your corneas haven’t been singed by 1800 hours of royal wedding coverage, then let’s heap on another pile of royal manure! Kensington Palace, the gilded dormitory where Prince Harry and Megsy will shack up, released the official portraits of the newlyweds along with their family and wedding party. Surprisingly, it seems like the hydraulics in THE QUEEN’s face were working to make her crack a smile!

The portraits were taken in the Green Drawing Room at Windsor Castle by Alexi Lubomirski, who took Meghan and Harry’s engagement photos. The one of Meghan and Harry with the kids is cute, especially the expression of the girl on the far left who seems to not have enjoyed the last season of Suits.

There was also the photo of the royals, the wedding party, and the fashion queen of Saturday/Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland.

It’s kind of nice that they managed to get everyone together for a picture, and they even look mainly happy. I, for one, don’t think Prince Philip has smiled since the fall of the Berlin Wall, so I guess he DID enjoy the last season of Suits. Camilla and Duchess Kate both seemed to be going for a UFO-theme with their hats, and with all that pastel, I guess the royal calendar made everyone think they were just hitting up Easter brunch at Bennigan’s and not an actual wedding. Of course, then there’s the one that has everyone a little hot and bothered (or just stress eating over PHG officially being off the market):

They’re serving a combined look of “let’s get right to making ‘dem spare heirs” and Meg’s personal one of “ain’t nobody mocking that Deal Or No Deal briefcase today!” Speaking of her pre-princess career, they officially launched the Duchess of Sussex page on the royal family’s website, and – shockingly – her IMDb credits are nowhere to be found! In the Angelina Jolie tradition, it hypes all the U.N. and aid work but doesn’t want to give a shout out to Tomb Raider or whatever B movie equivalent Meghan had in her arsenal. Suits is only alluded to in a line that says, “While filming in Toronto…” Oh, royals. Y’all are cute. That’s like me referencing meeting a guy in the hopeless place of an after-hours den of sin in P-Town as “While summering on Cape Cod…

Pic: Twitter

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