For me, the Billboard Music Awards have always been the Jan Brady of all awards shows trying desperately to be as pretty as Marcia (The Grammys) or as cute as Cindy (The AMAs). Well, toss that tacky afro wig in the trash and try again bitch because it ain’t happening. However, there was a bright spot during last night’s broadcast when Billboard decided it was time to embrace diversity by awarding the legendary Janet Jackson with its Icon Award. And before she accepted she treated us all to a performance that was a perfect blend of “Get it Janet!” and “Girl slow down before you break something!”
Let’s not forget that Janet isn’t the same spry, chair straddling sex kitten from Control or America’s favorite dominatrix from The Velvet Rope either. However, she still puts on a hell of a show and last night was no different. After a giddy introduction from Bruno Mars and a brief video narrated by Samuel L. Jackson, Janet and her snatched face hit the stage looking like the sexiest Thundercat in all of Thundera. She started with “Nasty” then slid into “If,” and finally made every early 90s THOT’s dreams come true when she sang the classic freak anthem “Throb” and that’s when it became clear that the real performance she was giving us was a glimpse into Beyonce’s future when she turns 50. Because Janet looked like she was tired as hell after all that damn dancing and carrying on. I guess she figured “Shit, I’m too rich for this. Three songs is enough,” because after “Throb” she approached a kneeling Bruno to grab her award and take her place in history as the first black woman to ever win the Icon Award (#IconsSoWhite).
Vulture posted her acceptance speech and instead of Janet using that time to request some Gatorade and oxygen she instead reminded us all why she is so iconic by speaking on the current #MeToo movement and delivering a bit of CHUCH! to the heathens of the world.
“I believe that for all our challenges, we live in a glorious moment in history. It’s a moment when, at long last, women have made it clear that we will no longer be controlled, manipulated, or abused. I stand with those women and with those men equally outraged by discrimination, who support us in heart and mind. This is also a time when our public discourse is loud and harsh. My prayer is that weary of such noise, we turn back to the source of all calmness. That source is god.”
Who else do you know that can do a ten minute set gyrating and talking about fucking before giving a speech to remind everyone that they need Jesus?
You can check out Janet’s performance, as well as the entire acceptance speech below. And peep Janet’s sister Rebbie Jackson pulling out her phone and recording her little sister’s speech like a proud auntie at graduation (and Katherine Jackson wondering when it’s safe for her to go home and watch her stories). The only thing that would make this moment even more perfect is if Rebbie jumped on stage and performed Centipede. Everyone could have gone home after that!