It Took Donald Trump Several Hours To Make It To The Hospital To Visit Melania

May 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Even though the Trump White House may spring more leaks than the Titanic, we were all kind of surprised that nobody knew about Melania Trump’s kidney surgery yesterday until after she had made it to the hospital. Then, we found out Donald Trump couldn’t even be bothered to go with her to the hospital and were all like, “OK, whew. Nothing’s changed.” But shame on you! He DID make it to the hospital, after all – just after he could make a few phone calls and nibble on lunch with Mike Pence.

People says the First Lady’s surgery was a success, but she’ll remain in the hospital for about a week. Part of me thinks this was a same-day procedure, and Melania was like, “Y’knowwww…how about just to be safe, I stay here for a while….. like a week or ten years more.” Her little Walter Reed National Military Medical Center vacation then was ruined when her husband finally choppered over from the White House. Naturally, he let people know when he was on the way:

Of course, he had to tend to important business before turning into Florence Nightingale. He had an 11am intelligence briefing, a lunch with the Vice President, and phone calls with the Argentine president and the president of Canada (and my maple syrup dreams), Justin Trudeau. He also finally got around to calling James Shaw, Jr., the guy who stopped the Nashville Waffle House shooter last month from killing more people. He also spent time tweeting about leaks, China, and I’m sure needed to watch at least five hours of Fox News before he could be in the right frame of mind to spend an hour with his wife. Naturally, a few people dragged Donald and his weave through the mud on this one:

I wouldn’t feel too bad for Melania! She was probably makeup-free just getting off the phone with the Obamas and about to fire up the second season of our future, The Handmaid’s Tale, before she heard Marine One overhead and realized, “Oh, crap…I need to pretend like I’m not enjoying this!” and had to start powdering her nose!


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