Clutch Those Rosaries In Shock, Madonna Completely Covered Up At The Met Gala 

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

At last night’s Met Gala, the category was: Catholic High Drag. And Madonna was there. So knowing two these things….

  1. Madge has been an extra sharp thorn in the Catholic church’s side for decades.
  2. Madge gets ten years added to her life when she bares those 59-year-old nalgitas and chichis at the Met Gala.

…I figured and hoped that she’d really blow the tit hat off of the Pope’s head by showing up in nothing but a crucifix butt plug, a crown of thrones clit ring, and communion wafers barely covering her nips. Or I figured she’d just bring Sinead O’Connor who’d spray paint “filthy pedos” all over the exhibit. (Seriously, the Met Gala needed Sinead.) But Madge delivered a real PLOT TWIST when she hit the eyes of the people with “grown Heidi at the funeral of her rich Italian husband.” She should’ve went all the way by yodel-ay-hee-boo-hooing onto a casket.

Madge’s Italian widow queen gown, including demure cross-shaped titty window, was designed by Jean Paul Gaultier, who dressed as a priest. Madge was also the performer of the night, so one would think that she’d bring the ~EDGINESS~ and ~CONTROVERSY~ there by singing Like A Prayer while simulating a gang bang by a chorus of female black Jesuses with strap-ons in front of burning crosses. But Madge kept it understated. She performed Like A Prayer, a new song called Beautiful Game, and Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

The performance of Like A Prayer was like the opening of Eyes Wide Shut the musical before they were told that they lost the rights so they quickly switched to doing Hamilton. Here’s a video Vogue put together:

And here’s a video of Madge and her Benedictine Monk impersonators doing Like A Prayer:

And Madge’s new song Beautiful Game (it’s not called Magic like in the caption below):

And Madge warbling out the never-ever-covered Hallelujah:

I’m just going to tell myself that after that performance, Madge whispered to someone in the front, “You know I’m wearing a crucifix butt plug underneath this. Bitch has still got it!


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