Meghan Markle’s Estranged Half-Brother Implores Prince Hot Ginge To Call Off The Wedding

So let’s see, when I send InTouch Weekly a batshit insane handwritten open letter to Prince Hot Ginge, beseeching him to please not making the biggest royal wedding mistake since Duchess Camilla wore a wheat field on her dome to her own wedding, I get my letter returned along with the business card of a psychiatrist in my town. But when the estranged half-brother of Meghan Markle sends InTouch a batshit insane handwritten open letter to PHG, they give him a check and publish it. I see how it is, InTouch Weekly!

We’re a little over two weeks away from the day when my neighbors call animal control after hearing a traumatized drunk hyena sing Where Do Broken Hearts Go, and so all of the estranged members of Meghan Markle’s family are stepping up their crazy. Samantha Markle isn’t the only estranged half-sibling of Meghan’s who can slag her off for a check, Thomas Markle Jr. can do that too. Thomas Jr., who hasn’t seen Meghan since 2011, slammed her in an open letter to PHG and accuses her of coldly using their father Thomas Markle for his money and then not even inviting him to the wedding. Err, Tom Jr. should probably double check with daddy, because People says that he is going.

Tom Jr. wrote the letter on yellow lined paper (InTouch has scans of it) and it’s saltier than the Morton Salt Girl nibbling on a saltine while lounging on the Dead Sea. The typos belong to Tom Jr. and not me (for once!).

“It’s not to late, Meghan Markle is obviously not the right woman for you. As more time passes to your royal wedding, it become very clear that this is the biggest mistake in royal wedding history. I’m confused why you don’t see the real Meghan that the whole world sees. Meghan’s attempt to act the part of a princess like a below C average Hollywood actress is getting old.

What kind of person starts out by using her own father until he’s bankrupt, then forgets about him in Mexico leaving him broke, over mostly all her debts. And when its time to pay him back she forgets her own father like she never knew him. My father will never recover financially from paying Meghan’s way, nor emotionally from disavowing him, Meg is showing her true colors.

Its very apparent that her tiny bit of Hollywood fame has gone to her head, changing her into a jaded, shallow, conceited woman that will make a joke out of you and the royal family heritage.

Not to mention, to top it all off, she doesn’t invite her own family and instead, invites complete strangers to the wedding. ‘Who does that.’ You and the royal family should put an end to this fake fairytale wedding before it to late.

Her own father doesn’t get an invite, whom should be walking her down the aisle. She easily forgets if it wasn’t for my father she would be busing tables and baby sitting to pay her old debt off. The whole world is watching Meg make bad decisions and choices, its not too late Harry.

Meghan is still my sister, she IS family. So whatever happens is up to her, whether she want to forget knowing me or the rest of her family, family comes first. Also you would think that a royal wedding would bring a torn family closer together, but I guess were all distant family to Meg.

Sincerely,

Tom Markle Jr. “

I see it now. Meghan Markle really is as cold as her below C average acting career was! She really is a dead-hearted bitch for not inviting her estranged half-brother to her wedding. I mean, based on that letter, he’s obviously a devoted, supportive and not-at-all-opportunistic brother who loves her so.

People says that Tom Jr. is wrong about his dad not going to the wedding. They say that Meghan’s dad and her mother, Doria Ragland, will be there. Thomas and Doria divorced in 1988, and he lives in Mexico now.

Tom Jr. should also shine his best shoes, because I have a feeling that he’ll soon get a last-minute invitation and plane ticket from a royal who lives for drama and would love nothing more than to sit back and sip sparkling apple juice from a crystal cup while watching Meghan Markle throw her bridal tiara onto the floor while getting into a messy scene with her estranged half-brother at her wedding. Hmm… who on earth could I be talking about?

Pics: Wenn.com