You know that fairy tale about The Princess and The Troll? No? That’s because I made it up. The real story is The Princess Is A Troll and it stars Princess Michael of Kent. Well before Meghan Markle put her filthy, common, colony hands all over Kensington Palace, Aatish Taseer, who is of Indian and Pakistani heritage, used to have the pleasure of pissing in the royal loos of KP. He’s just written a piece for Vanity Fair and says that when he was dating Princess Michael’s daughter, he saw and heard some shit. Namely, that PM tried to get cute by naming her pet sheep Venus and Serena. Can you guess the color of the sheep? I bet you can.
According to Aatish, Princess Michael gets off on shocking people. Not surprisingly, he also said that “most everybody thought she was ‘perfectly ghastly’. Even so, it sounds like he has a soft spot for the old bird. Even when she does some shit like this.
Princess Michael, though generally free of British colonial prejudices, and beyond reproach when it came to me, nevertheless invited trouble out of what felt like a desire to shock: her pair of black sheep in Gloucestershire were named Venus and Serena.
As we know, Princess Michael also tried it when she wore that Blackamoor brooch to Christmas lunch with Meghan. She also clutched her pearls a little too tightly when she was accused of being racist for telling some “noisy diners of color” (band name alert!) to go back to the colonies.
“I would never have said that,” she later confided to me. “I’m a historian. I know that America itself was a colony.” She feigned an odd mixture of injustice and contrition: “I daren’t even say I want my coffee black anymore. I say, ‘Without milk.’”
Boo motherfucking hoo, Princess. As if she even drinks or orders coffee! That’s some expert level trolling. Somebody needs to take Princess Michael’s 4Chan account away from her.