And here I am falling for it AGAIN.
If you missed the latest extra-large fart bubble of sad insanity that came out of Kanye West’s mouth during his visit to TMZ today, then might I suggest you keep on missing it and watch a much less gross and much more satisfying video by clicking here. But if you insist….
To get attention for his new albums and his self-published philosophy book on Twitter, Kanye has declared his love for his brother Donald Trump, told us that he loves the brain of Black Lives Matter hater Candace Owens, and did a 2-hour interview. But he really went for it today when he dropped into the offices of TMZ. Kanye said that since slavery lasted for 400 years, the slaves must’ve made the choice to remain slaves. Strangely enough, Kanye didn’t also say that Jewish people willingly went to concentration camps because they wanted a free vacation? He’s probably saving that for his next visit to TMZ.
During his fuckery fest on TMZ, Harvey Levin brought up the pic of Kanye wearing a MAGA hat. Kanye declared his love for Trump again, said wearing the hat was an act of free thought, and that led to him let out this not-at-all-for-shock-value nugget.
“When you hear about slavery for 400 years, for 400 years?! That sounds like a choice. Like, you was there for 400 years and it’s all y’all? It’s like we’re mentally in prison. I like the word prison because slavery goes too direct to the idea of blacks. So prison is something that unites us as one race. Blacks and whites being one race. We’re the human race.”
Later in the newsroom, Kanye asked everyone if they think he’s thinking freely, and that’s when TMZ’s Van Lathan became a hero by trying to get through to him by feeding him a potent dose of WAKE THE FUCK UP:
“I actually don’t think you’re thinking anything. I think what you’re doing right now is the absence of thought. And the reason why I feel like that is because Kanye, you’re entitled to your opinion. You’re entitled to believe whatever you want, but there is fact and real world, real-life consequence behind everything that you just said. And while you are making music and being an artist and living a life that you’ve earned by being a genius, the rest of us in society have to deal with these threats to our lives. We have to deal with the marginalization that has come from the 400 years of slavery that you said for our people was a choice. Frankly, I’m disappointed, I’m appalled, and brother I am unbelievably hurt by the fact that you have morphed into something to me that isn’t real.”
The Harriet Tubman of our time (or was Harriet Tubman the Kanye of her time?) apologized to Van for hurting his feelings and went to hug him. As all of that was going down, Harvey Levin had to resist every urge to do cartwheels across the newsroom over how much attention he was getting for TMZ and for his boo Pimp Mama Kris.
The TMZ/Kanye train wreck of 2018 didn’t end there. Kanye already admitted that he had an opioid addiction during his breakdown of 2016, and today he told everyone at TMZ that he got addicted to that shit after getting lipo. (As everyone knows, Kanye’s mom Donda West died of heart disease after experiencing complications from several plastic surgeries including lipo.) Kanye said that he got the Kartrashian special, because he didn’t want TMZ to call him fat like they did Rob Kartrashian. So according to the logic of Kanye, slavery is a choice, but lipo is something he was forced to do. Got it.
At the end of that clip, Kanye admitted that he’s kind of off his meds right now.
“I’m not drugged out. These pills they want me to take three a day, I take one a week maybe. Two a week. You all have me scared of myself, of my vision, so I took some pills, so I wouldn’t go to hospital and prove everyone right. We are drugged out. We are following other people’s opinions. We are controlled by the media and today it all changes.”
And there it is. Meanwhile, Kim Kartrashian is holding an emergency meeting with PMK to figure out if she should once again tweet that her husband isn’t suffering from a mental illness or should quickly get her b-hole waxed so she can distract everyone by tweeting a hole pic. She’s definitely going with the second one.