Open Post: Hosted By Kanye West’s New Ugly-Ass Shoe Collection

April 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Anti-deceit activist Kanye West is more than just the modern day reincarnation of Søren Kierkegaard. He’s also a genius fashion designer. Have you ever been out on the streets and been intrigued by a man or woman in a neutral-toned leotard that Luke Skywaker’s Aunt Beru would have worn to Hot Figure 4? Kanye did that! And he also does shoes!

Yeezy premiered some of his new shoe collection on Twtter. They’re ugly like you see in the White House. I’ve supplied what I assume to be the names of these radical kicks. Witness:

Length of Intestine

Albino Serpent


Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

And my personal favorite:

Gummy Slide!

THAT’S a slide? That’s supposed to be a slide? It looks like a window-cleaner huffing Swedish fish impregnated a crinkle fry. No, Kanye, just no.

Pic: Twitter

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