In what appears to be the ultimate test in Taylor Swift loyalty, Bruce Rowley claims he robbed a bank in hopes of winning her over. Silly, Bruce, Taylor only responds to blood oaths and those giant lollipops you win at the county fair.
TMZ says Bruce was arrested last week in the town of Ansonia, Connecticut after he confessed to robbing a bank and driving to Taylor’s house in Rhode Island to throw money over the fence. I figured he was just trying to help her out since her July 4th parties can’t be cheap to host. But I guess he just assumed it would help win her over. Before going to Taylor’s, Bruce had gone into a bank and demanded money from a teller. He didn’t threaten the teller or make a threat, but the teller still handed over the money.
Cops are still trying to figure out if Bruce actually went to Taylor’s house.
Bruce was booked for robbery and larceny and is being held on bail. The police report says Bruce repeatedly told the fuzz he had a crush on Taylor and said he would donate some of the money to the Ansonia Police Department to impress her. Pssh, the only thing that would impress her, Bruce, is if you donated that stolen cash to her legal team who spends Saturday afternoon trolling Etsy for fan shops to send cease and desist letters!