Stan Lee Is Accusing A Former Business Associate Of Stealing His Blood

April 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Here’s a caper and a half for you: Apparently, one of Stan Lee’s former business associates had an internship with Hannibal Lecter only instead of creating elaborate tableaux from human flesh, Stan thinks this unnamed sir or madame stole his blood in order to make commemorative Marvel pens that write real blood. I know, right? What the fuck!

According to TMZ, Stan’s team is claiming an unnamed former business associate not only stole $300,000 from Stan and bought an $850,000 condo with his money, but he also devised a bizarre scheme to milk him of his precious bodily fluids.

Here’s what we’re told. The businessman went to Stan’s personal nurse back in October with a forged document giving him authority to order a blood sample from the Marvel maven. Our sources claim he told the nurse to fill several vials and she obliged. We’re told she took so much Stan became dizzy.

My head is tilted to the side like a confused Cocker Spaniel. How was this allowed to happen? Stan IS 95 years old, so I guess by that age you’re so used to getting stuck and prodded you don’t bother to ask “why for?” anymore. But was the guy standing there in the room the whole time while he was getting drained? Who is this nurse? TMZ says:

We’re told Stan’s people believe the former business associate has commissioned pens — presumably linked to Stan and Marvel — and the pens have an ink substitute … blood!!!

If this person was willing to go to the trouble of illegally harvesting blood from an old man, risking witnesses and possibly enlisting accomplices (I’m looking at you, Nurse Ratched), why not just skip the felony stuff and buy some pig’s blood and just say it’s Stan’s? Who would know the difference? Also, is there even a market for a Spider-Man Bic that shoots blood? Is there a Stan Lee blood cult out there that I am unaware of? Is Stan Lee an immortal? I have so many questions!

According to TMZ, Stan’s people believe the blood sucker plans to sell the pens “for a fortune” and want to put a stop to it immediately. They’ve hired an attorney to investigate and file a lawsuit and a police report about the alleged crime. Prepare to have the world invert itself and implode if it turns out the blood thief is the same sicko who bit Beyoncé.


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