Great, Now We’re Hearing Stories About How Donald Trump Jr. Boned Aubrey O’Day For Months

March 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Our stomachs aren’t going to make it through this year… First, many prepared to wet heave up their insides after it was wrongly reported that Stormy Daniels’ lawyer claimed they’ve got pictures of Donald Trump’s chipotle-dipped dick. And now we’re hearing that another living human actually said, “Ok!”, to doing Donald Trump Jr. The night that Jabba the Trump became the Overlord of the United States, overused bronzer puff Aubrey O’Day re-tweeted anti-Trump tweets, and when someone tweeted at her, “really? But you was on trump show!!! Why are you mad that the checks stopped coming!“, she dropped this dramatic foreboding nugget:

“No. my story I didn’t tell is worth millions now 😉 …this doesn’t hurt me, it hurts America.”

Many figured that she had a story involving Trump’s pussy grabbin’ claws of doom, but the story is that Aubrey rubbed her bare parts all over Don Jr’s no-neck area while his wife Vanessa Trump was pregnant with their third child. Picturing Don Jr. slamming his naked carcass against Aubrey O’Day is causing my already-tortured eyes to burn. Do-do you got a first aid kit handy? But really, a member of Danity Kane being a part of an ESCANDALO with a Trump in this day and age? Welcome to 2018.

Page Six says that when Aubrey was on The Celebrity Apprentice in 2011, Don Jr., who was an adviser on the show, immediately got moist in the tip for her and went after her. A source claims that Don Jr. told Aubrey that his marriage to Vanessa was over. Aubrey supposedly “fell hard” for Don Jr., because I guess she loves money more than she loves herself. But another source claims that Aubrey was really in love with Don Jr. and never tried to get cash by selling her story or by trying to get hush money from the Trumps. Don Jr. and Aubrey apparently pounded down-low parts in different cities, and it went on from the end of 2011 to March 2012. A different source tells UsWeekly that Aubrey really thought Don Jr. was going to leave Vanessa for her:

“When it started, they were very serious all of a sudden. He told her it was over with his wife, that they were separated and he didn’t love her — all of that stuff … Aubrey fell for him hard. She thought they were going to be together for real.”

The pure love story of our time ended for good when Vanessa Trump found emails between her husband and Aubrey. Yet another source tells Page Six that Don Jr.’s dad told him to stop fucking Aubrey. But I’m sure before he did that, he gave his son a pat on the back for being a chip off the old cheating slut block.

Vanessa almost left Don Jr. then, but stayed with him and made two more kids with him She filed for divorce last week. After Don Jr., Aubrey continued to show us that she has exquisite taste in full-time fuck partners by getting engaged to Pauly D.

A year after Don Jr. allegedly dumped Aubrey, she channeled her pain and heartbreak into her art. Aubrey did a song called DJT (she’s subtle like that), and it perfectly sums up her love with Don Jr., because it’s awkward, it’s a mess and it’s an assault on humanity. It sounds like it was recorded on a burner phone in a bathroom, and you may hear what sounds like a toilet flushing, but it’s just the song’s chorus. No, I don’t mean that, because this song has everything you need in a song: low-level soap opera dialogue and lyrics that sounds like they were written by a deep 13-year-old on their Angelfire site.

In 2012, Aubrey also did a cover of Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know and it sounds like she changed the lyrics to be about Don Jr.

Don Jr. and Aubrey haven’t said anything about this. But as someone who loves money, I’m wondering if all the cash Aubrey will get for telling her story is worth the world knowing that not only did she repeatedly fuck Donald Trump Jr., but the dick got her so twisted up that she wrote at least two songs about him. If I was Aubrey, I’d say, “Well, I was high on meth at the time, and was also possessed by a bad decision-making demon.



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