Jennifer Lawrence Is Having A Dry Spell, And STI Fear May Be To Blame

March 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Sigh, it seems like only yesterday when I wasn’t such a Grandma Gay and spent most weekends trolling for D on Saturday and taking some preemptive penicillin on Monday. Alas, Jennifer Lawrence thinks it’s a time to seek shelter since she’s a germaphobe and basically is

The Sun nabbed a quick interview with Jennifer Lawrence, and she claims, “I’m all bark and no bite.” Whaaaat? You mean, Miley Cyrus was right all along?! In this case, Jennifer says she tries to play like she’s the cool single gal out trolling for D, but she really just spends her nights rocking in a corner afraid of all the STIs waiting to latch onto her loins.

Jennifer says that she’s a germaphobe so most of her dates are with her most reliable boyfriend…Pinot Grigio:

“I always talk like I want dick, but the truth is when I look back at my sexual past it was always with boyfriends. I talk like I like it, but I don’t really do it. I am mostly also a germaphobe. I have made it this far without an STI. Dick is dangerous.”

Girl, you’re doing dick wrong…it’s only dangerous if they’re pierced…and even that can be fun (or so I’ve heard). She tries to say her germaphobe ways are what is driving her fear of the Big D and even says she hates shaking hands and goes so far as making sure her boyfriends are given a once-over by the doctor before they sex her. As you might expect, the hurdles have meant she’s going through a bit of a dry spell:

“I am not in a relationship. I am making it clear that I have not had sex in a very long time. I would like to have a relationship, you know. It is hard out there.”

Not that I’m a doctor, but loosen that collar, JLaw, and live a little if you want a man back at your nethers! Even if you don’t walk away with a nasty case of syphilis, the pre-boning physician visit does seem to strip away a bit of the romance away from canoodling. Half the thrill of a new relationship is the anxiety of waiting for the results of those early blood tests.


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