Cynthia Nixon Is Laying Down Real Plans To Run For The Governor Of New York 

March 6, 2018 / Posted by:

We found out last year that the idea of running for the governor of New York has been dancing inside of Cynthia Nixon’s head and that several people have told her to go for it. And in January, Cynthia moved the “rumor” closer to fact when she was asked if she was going to battle it out against the current governor, Mr. Sandra Lee (otherwise known as Andrew Cuomo), for the position of head bitch of New York, and she said, “Maybe.” And now NY1 is hearing that Cynthia is so serious about running that she’s getting her team together. You know, Cynthia Nixon is perfect for the world of politics. She’s used to dealing with petty and catty bitches in overpriced shoes.

To me, Cynthia needs only one member on her team and one member only. That’s Rojo Caliente (government: Christine Marinoni), because she can torch any rival easily and she already works in government! But NY1 says that Cynthia has been talking to Rebecca Katz and Bill Hyers, who were part of New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s first mayoral campaign.

The New York Times says that Cynthia, who has been into education activism, is also taking a crash course in how to be governor by learning about policy, especially transportation policy, which some say is Governor Cuomo’s weakest area. A big reason why Cynthia is thinking of running is because she cares a lot about education and thinks that Governor Sandra Lee’s Man has been shortchanging the kids.

If Cynthia runs, she may get an endorsement from Mayor de Blasio since Rojo works in his administration, they both campaigned for him in 2013 and he’s in a feud with Cuomo. If Cynthia runs and if she wins, she’d be the first female and openly gay governor of New York. Cynthia’s rep issued a statement that makes it sound like, yup, she’s running.

“Many concerned New Yorkers have been encouraging Cynthia to run for office, and as she has said previously, she will continue to explore it. If and when such a decision is made, Cynthia will be sure to make her plans public.”

Cynthia will have to grease up her face with several jars of Crisco, because it’d be a fight since Cuomo has almost $30 million in campaign money and the Times says he’s still popular with the Democratic electorate. But Cynthia can easily take that shit if puts together a poster of Rojo saying, “I am Rojo Caliente and I command you to vote for Cynthia Nixon.” She’d break records by becoming the first politician in history to get every single vote. Even Sandra Lee’s!

It’s been over 5 years since I moved away from NYC, and I’ve always said that I’d go back to that expensive ass place in a millisecond if one of two things happened to me:

  1. I marry a multi-millionaire who gives me a credit card with no spending limit and doesn’t ask me pesky questions like, “Why did you suddenly move to NYC after we got married without telling me?”
  2. I win millions upon millions in Powerball.

But I’m tempted to add “Rojo Caliente becomes First Lady of New York” to that list.

Sure, if I moved back to NYC I could only afford to live in a literal shoe box in an alley on Staten Island, but well at least I could look up and see the glorious vision of a towering Rojo Caliente statue. I mean, if Cynthia wins, I’d assume that the Statue of Liberty would immediately be replaced with the Statue of Ginger Gloriousness.


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