Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For “Venom”

February 8, 2018 / Posted by:

That could be a picture of Tom Hardy waking up from a horrible dream in which he got a Leonardo DiCaprio tattoo and realized IT WASN’T A DREAM, but it’s actually Tom in the first official teaser trailer for Marvel studio’s Venom. This ain’t your mama’s Venom! The college freshman geek charm of Eric from That 70’s Show has been replaced with an angry Tom Hardy in a hospital gown.

Venom isn’t scheduled to come out until October, so there will be at least 10 more trailers. Hopefully one of the trailers will explain the questions I have. Like: Can a basic MRI screening pick up magic angry spider genes? Did Michelle Williams have to put down a damage deposit to borrow Nicole Kidman’s wig from the set of Big Little Lies, or is she on the honor system? Could they not have set up the trailer to mimic one of those daytime TV malpractice lawyer ads? “Did you wake up as an angry buff man-spider and now you’re drowning in medical bills? Call me for justice.

And for an even-less-human version of Tom Hardy, here’s his wax figure that was unveiled today at Madame Tussauds in London. The Evening Standard says it also has a “soft, warm torso with a beating heart.” It’s probably a good thing they positioned his arm over his crotch. I have a feeling a lot of guests would check to see if every part of him was soft and warm.

Pics: YouTube,

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