Hot Slut Of The Day!
Crate & Barrel’s exquisite puckering asshole wall art!
If you’ve been looking at your living room and thinking to yourself that what it really needs to elevate it to the height of tasteful sophistication is a giant asshole and you’ve thought of hanging a Scott Baio poster but realized that’s just too offensive, then Crate & Barrel has the perfect thing for you.
A reader tapped my inbox with a big puckering culito hole from Crate & Barrel, and he added this note:
Look what those dirty-birds at Crate & Barrel think you should hang over your mid-century modern sofa… a ceramic puckering butthole. Oh, and if dirty anus art isn’t your thing, there’s a bleached one, too.
Most of us look at that thing and probably see the kind of hole pic that a power bottom elephant would send to a hot power top he met on Grindr, but C&B wants us to think that they see a damn sea sponge… Although, whoever wrote this needs to write my Grindr bio, because they gave me a slight tingle at “radiates deep lines from its dimpled center.” They should be E.L. James’ ghost writer.
Resembling a sea sponge or coral, our organic-inspired wall art radiates deep lines from its dimpled center. Made of ceramic, each handcrafted dimensional disc is textured with scratches and glazed light grey. Coordinate with other Alura wall art pieces.
Piers Morgan’s birthday is next month, and if you’re a friend or related to him, I feel sorry for you. But the good news is, you have just found the birthday gift to get him. Buy C&B’s puckering asshole wall art and paint it orange. Piers seems to be so obsessed with the idea of eating Trump’s ass that he’d love it. And you’d also be giving a gift to humanity, because Piers wouldn’t talk as much since his tongue would always be stuck to his orange anus wall art.
Pic: Crate & Barrel