The Man In The Barney The Dinosaur Costume Is Now A Tantric Sex Healer

January 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Beloved/despised children’s mascot Barney the Dinosaur is into some weird shit. Vice reports that the man who spent ten years in the big purple suit (just the suit, not the voice), David Joyner, is a working as a tantra massage therapist and a spiritual energy healer. Not that that is weird. Who am I to judge? What is weird is that David is somewhat unconventional in his practice and is a bit of a renegade in the tantra community. That is to say, his generosity of spirit is equal to his generosity of penis.

According to Vice:

A full session with tantra massage specialist and spiritual healer David Joyner lasts three to four hours and costs $350. For that price, female clients—the only kind he accepts—can expect to receive a ritual bath, chakra balancing, and a massage. Also on the menu: cosmic, mind-blowing orgasms.

David says that “When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create”. What’s more, he believes that condoms can “block the energy” so the best way to achieve a “higher and more blissful state of awareness” is to let him slip in his purple dinosaur au natural. This practice is kind of a no-no. In fact, several of the other practitioners Vice spoke to say that penetrative sex is not really what tantra healing is supposed to be about. One woman said that David’s raw dog practice sounds “shady” and “ridiculous”.

David believes otherwise. He feels he’s doing what he was born to do and that his tantra practice is basically an extension of his work as Barney, embracer of children. David discovered the joys of tantra well before he got his gig as Barney when he was studying Swedish massage to make ends meet as he put himself through ITT Technical Institute. When he got the Barney gig he was told to keep it to himself.

“The energy I brought up [while] in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love,” he explains. “Everything stems, grows, and evolves from love. Even when you have emotionally blocked energy, the best way to remove it is to remove it with love, and then replace it with God’s divine love. Love heals and allows you to continue to grow.”

David has also said:

“When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive. No food in the world can compare to goddess nectar because spirit is involved. Before you taste the goddess nectar, give thanks. Say grace. I would love women to understand how powerful that energy is.”

A quick check of David’s (un-verified) Instagram account reveals that this Vice feature didn’t exactly go the way he thought it would.

Can he really be surprised? You can’t literally admit to prostitution under the guise of spiritual guidance (with a dash of cultural appropriation thrown in for good measure) and expect the Goddess to save you from judgement. Personally, I have no problem with David renting out his lingam as long as the yoni is yearning and willing to pay for it. Sounds like David’s got a pretty good hustle working.

Pic: PBS

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