The New “American Idol” Isn’t Going To Show Any Bad Auditions

January 10, 2018 / Posted by:

News regarding the overpriced albatross (aka the revival of American Idol) has been all about how the payroll department at ABC apparently took a quaalude to sign off on paying Katy Perry $25 million when Lionel Richie got far less, but now producers are here to say the new show is going to be about the talent and finally creating a STAH. So that means taking away the only reason people were watching Idol.

The Hollywood Reporter says that during a panel at the Television Critics Association’s winter press tour, the new judge, Katy, Lionel and Luke Bryan could – shockingly – not name a winner from the last few seasons. But that apparently is keeping Katy & Co. up late at night, so there won’t be any Sanjaya’s or William Hung’s because they are hell bent on finding the next Kelly Clarkson (who was too busy finding the next her on The Voice to come back for this). Plus, showrunner Trish Kinane thinks it’s a little tacky in this era of trying not to be a dick to each other that we’d be gung-ho about publicly shaming these people for warbling through “Bridge Over Troubled Water”:

“It doesn’t feel comfortable to put borderline unstable people up on stage and laugh at them”

What?! No piss poor performances? No screeching at the level only stray dogs can hear??  What’s next? Ryan Seacrest deciding to show us what his un-dyed hair looks like? American Idol without shitty singers is like finding a Taco Bell without the tortillas! Actually, that happened to me the other day, so maybe it isn’t so crazy. Katy explained it:

“Literally, we are wasting our time if we are not finding another star. I take it very seriously, sometimes to my detriment.”

Luke tried to say the quest to find a real megastar (and revenue generator for Fox) is making the judging panel work better and harder, so I assume we won’t have any of Mariah Carey or Nicki-style “oops! I’m late because traffic was so bad” antics from judges who arrive late to, well, judge. Seacrest out!

Check out more of the judges at the TCAs:


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