Paris Hilton Would Like Credit For Everything Wrong With Today’s Youth Culture

November 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Paris Hilton is a lot of things. A Princess? Sure. Polarizing? Absolutely. A Pioneer? Depends on who you ask. If you ask Paris she’ll tell you “well, like duh?”. Or at least that’s how she would have said it before when she was riding high as queen of dingbat blond heiress socialites. I’m not sure how she talks these days because like what is her deal now? She’s some kind of high society matron? So basically the same thing but with frumpier clothes and a holier than thou attitude? Got it.

Paris already tried to take credit for inventing the selfie, now she’s on about some other annoying shit she’d like credit for. In a recent interview with Ocean Drive Magazine, Paris gives us her mature, matronly thoughts on her influence on the culture. According to Page Six:

“I was definitely before my time, and the beginning of a whole new era, and it started a new generation and genre of celebrity.”

Paris also said of her reality show The Simple Life:

“I think it was pretty groundbreaking, and I love being a pioneer”.

Apparently, Paris’ new brand is capital B Businesswoman, but it’s not like some dumb reality shit like before. It’s some grown up rich lady baller shit. And that genre of celebrity she’s talking about are “social media stars.” Where you see thirsty hoes scrambling for crumbs, Paris sees the fruits of her labor as “young entrepreneurs and people with dreams.” But she kind of let slip in this interview that she feels a little day late, dollar short on catching that sweet internet ride to legitimacy.

In Ocean Drive’s December issue, Hilton also said, “I’m very proud I started a whole new way for young people, young entrepreneurs and people with dreams to make a living and a very lucrative business off of it.” But, she also admits that “being a businesswoman, I would’ve loved to capitalize on it.”

Oh, she must really hate that Kim Kardahian (who she also would like credit for) outlasted her in all areas of fame whoredom. It has got to sting! Paris is really working hard to take credit for things nobody likes. But she just can’t help herself! She doesn’t understand that just because you created something, doesn’t mean it’s an automatic win and an entry into the annuls of History’s Greatest Pioneers. In fact, most pioneers died of dysentery or were eaten alive by chiggers.


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