Hot Slut Of The Day!
“Human error” aka the heroic ex Twitter employee who lived out nearly every American’s fantasy when they hit the Bye Bitch button on @realDonaldTrump.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear hiked-up double pleated khakis from L.L. Bean, an oversized tucked-in white polo shirt their mom got them two Christmases ago from Marshalls, a pair of new Yeezys they bought on eBay for $1500 to look hip and wire eyeglass frames from the clearance section at LensCrafters. (That’s the official uniform of every tech worker, right?) Yesterday, twatters on Twitter wondered why the place was a tiny bit more quiet than usual and why it no longer totally smelled like a flaming over-filled Porta Potty. Donald Trump’s personal Twitter account was deactivated and stayed that way for 11 beautiful minutes. That was long enough for everyone to play “Celebration” two and a half times.
Trump’s Twitter account wasn’t deactivated by an internal White House spy (Marlon Bundo, probably) who finally had enough. Twitter also didn’t suddenly decide that “threats of war” violate their violent threats policy. Trump’s account was deactivated by a Twitter customer support employee who went out with a bang on their last day, and the bang was the sound of their finger hitting the deactivate button on @realDonaldTrump. After Trump’s account was re-activated, Twitter blamed it on “human error,” but then after conducting an investigation (read: watching surveillance footage of the employee flipping off the computer screen and hitting the delete button before lighting a cigarette and stomping out of that bitch), they discovered that the ex-employee went all Inetta the Moodsetta by leaving their job in a spectacular way.
Through our investigation we have learned that this was done by a Twitter customer support employee who did this on the employee’s last day. We are conducting a full internal review. https://t.co/mlarOgiaRF
— Twitter Government (@TwitterGov) November 3, 2017
Trump responded to getting Twatter silenced for 11 minutes, and surprisingly he didn’t say what every comment troll says after one of their comments get deleted: MAH FURST UHMENDMENT RITES HAVE BEEN VIERLATED! Trump said that the rogue employee obviously couldn’t take the heat of his hot takes.
As to how that customer support employee was able to shut down @realDonaldTrump, a former employee of Twitter tells Buzzfeed that a lot of employees can suspend an account, and hundreds can deactivate an account with just one simple click.
Sure, if that employee got a severance package, that shit is now null and void, and they’ll never work in Silicone Valley AGAIN, but all that doesn’t matter compared with the rewarding feeling that they made the internet great again for 11 minutes.
Pic: Twitter