Matt Lauer Did Dolly Dirty For “Today’s” Halloween Show

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

If you love the kind of grotesque imagery that will turn your stomach and haunt your dreams forever, then you’re no doubt a fan of Today’s annual Halloween costume parade of half-assed horrors. Obviously nothing will ever top the year they dropped nightmares all over your childhood by dressing up as a near-sighted serial killer’s idea of the Peanuts gang. This year the Today crew slipped into their best country-fied drag for a Grand Ole Opry-themed Halloween.

The real show stopper was Matt Lauer as icon of icons Dolly Parton. And by “show stopper,” I mean Matt should have stopped in the middle of the show and apologized for not taking it all the way with his costume. The real Dolly Parton helped Matt with his costume, and bless her heart, but there’s only so much help you can give a person. The dress? Great. Wig? Perfect. Boobs? Could be bigger, but I’m being picky. Face? Awful. Where is the makeup??? The Dolly I know is painted for the angels. Matt has maybe one coat of mascara and a single sloppy swipe of lipstick. Matt’s mug is giving me less Dolly Parton, more Polly Darton from Sesame Street, which might be the meanest thing I’ve ever said about a puppet.

Meanwhile, Megyn Kelly continued to make television viewers hate her by disgracing Shania Twain. Al Roker did a decent Willie Nelson. Hoda Kotb gained a permanent place in my nightmares as Blake Shelton. Carson Daly did ’90s Billy Ray Cyrus. Kathie Lee Gifford channeled a woman who fell ass-first into a silk flower bin at a craft store.

And joining Matt’s Dolly was Savannah Guthrie as probably the weirdest, yet most realistically human-looking Kenny Rogers costume I’ve ever seen.

Showtime. Kenny ❤️ Dolly

A post shared by Savannah Guthrie (@savannahguthrie) on

Even Kenny Rogers doesn’t look like that anymore. Honestly, if Kenny Rogers was smart, he would secretly send Savannah Guthrie in his place for any future appearances.

Pic: Instagram

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