Open Post: Hosted By Too Much Beauty And Glamour For Your Eyes To Take

October 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Quick! Click off this post, grab those glasses you wore to protect your eyes from melting while looking at the eclipse. You’re going to need them to keep your retinas from bouncing like my retina while looking at these blinding pictures of the sun (which feels like an understatement since she’s way more glorious than the real sun) becoming one with the moon (which again feels like an understatement since the moon only wishes it was as stunning as him).

Harald Glööckler, the earth-shatteringly gorgeous being who was born after a diamond and an orchid fucked each other raw, launched his new line of home furnishings with German reality star Sarah Knappik in Berlin yesterday. On one hand, letting photographers into the launch for his home furnishings line and sharing the pics with the public is really cruel. Only billionaires can afford Harald’s luxurious goods and so it’s kind of mean that he’s teasing us poors by showing us an opulent bathtub we’ll never be able to afford (but can make ourselves using an old tub from the junkyard, paint and stencils from Michael’s). But on the other hand, it was very generous and saintly for Harald to share these pictures with the public. Because these pictures of Sarah (looking like Cleopatra after she got captured by The Beast) and Harald (looking like a gorgeous cholita skunk in Liberace’s garden) reminds us that there is still beauty in this world.


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