James Woods Thrilled Amber Tamblyn By Announcing His Retirement From Acting

October 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Butt plug specialist James Woods is leaving acting. You would think that James, who LOVES to be an asshole troll on Twitter, would have had the Twitter bird carry that announcement (or perhaps a 16 year-old-girl he allegedly seduced with his suave lines). But no, he left it to his real estate agent. Lazy.

James’ agent, Allen Gammons, spoke to the Providence Journal (via People) about his Exeter, Rhode Island property going on the market. Ugh, he lives one state over from me. That’s even worse than the fact that I *heart* Videodrome.

Allen says that James is “retiring from the entertainment industry and seeking to ‘simplify his life’ by selling ‘his many real estate holdings on both coasts.’ ” The property consists of four houses, two of them lakefront, and they’re asking $1.39 million for the whole thing. Not a realtor here, but does that sound really cheap? Four houses, two of them on the water? Wow, does that mean this lifelong renter can afford a house in Rhode Island?

Allen also says that James is retiring to focus on the finer things in life, namely barely legal women who are into Twitter douches with money “photography, antiquing and playing Texas Hold’em poker.” His real estate agent explained that James’ brother and sister recently passed away, and it sounds like he’s trying to seize life before he dies. He’s 70.

The president of the “James Woods Is Slimy AF” Club, actress Amber Tamblyn, recently revealed on Twitter that some of those houses that James is selling might be constructed of glass. James spewed some bullshit about the 7-year-age difference between the gay lovers in Call Me By Your Name. Amber found his tweet laughable and responded by tweeting that James tried to get on her and a friend of hers when she was 16.

It looks like Amber is keeping James on blast long-term. Yesterday, Amber responded to the news of his retirement on Twitter.

I’m not sure that “my siblings have passed and I want to carpe diem” is the actual reason for James selling off his compound. Taylor Swift has a big mansion in Rhode Island. Maybe James tried to crash one of her completely-thrown-for-the-photo-ops bullshit parties, and Taylor had her friends answer the door to turn him away and explain, oh, she’s dead. That would have been pretty humiliating, and maybe made him reevaluate his life. Or maybe he found out she lived in the same state as her and reasoned that Rhode Island isn’t big enough for two celebrities. It’s pretty small.


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