According to UsWeekly, the NFL has chosen who they want to headline their Super Bowl halftime show in Minneapolis on February 4, 2018. It would have been Jay Z, but he reportedly turned them down. So instead they’re going with Super Bowl halftime show veteran and inoffensive dog whistler Justin Timberlake.
A source tells UsWeekly that details are currently being “finalized,” and the source adds that as of right now, it would just be Justin and no surprise guests. Sort of like Lady Gaga’s performance last year.
That’s not what I wanted to hear, Super Bowl source. I’m only on board for a Justin Timberlake Halftime Show if there’s a chance the rest of NSYNC will rise up from the floor, or Britney Spears will appear in silver lace-up crotch football pants. I’m certainly not looking forward to Justin most-likely closing the show with “Can’t Stop The Feeling.” I’ve been trying to rid my mind of that song ever since my grocery store played it on repeat. The second I hear “I got this feeling,” I will switch back to the Puppy Bowl Halftime Show to watch a cat drop a turd on the field.
The only thing the NFL has confirmed so far is that they aren’t confirming anything. Entertainment Tonight says the NFL gave them the same response they gave about Jay Z:
“No decisions have been made on the performer(s) and we are not going to speculate on particular artists. Along with Pepsi, we know that we will put on a spectacular show. When it is time to announce her name we will do it. Or his name. Or their names.”
However, a source tells ET that Justin Timberlake is “the guy,” and that the NFL has wanted him “for a long time.”
If Justin does perform at Super Bowl LII, it would mark the fourteenth anniversary of the time he exposed Janet Jackson’s pierced nipple and created a scandal. If Justin believes in karma, he better think strongly about reinforcing the crotch of his pants. Besides Jimmy Fallon, I don’t think there are too many people at home that want to see a surprise appearance by Justin’s balls.