Open Post: Hosted By This Hot $1,650 Sweater Made Of Pantyhose and Stretched-Out Tube Socks 

September 15, 2017 / Posted by:

The next time you run into Calvin Klein, politely interrupt him as he sucks the life out of his latest boy toy’s neck, and give him a million thank yous. Because if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have the perfect sweater to wear when you’re really feeling your nipples, but not really feeling your arms, and also want to look fucking crazy.

Many on the internet have been laughing and heaving at this Raf Simons designed sweater thing. By “laughing and heaving,” I of course mean “furiously applying for a new credit card so that they can buy that sweater,” because who wouldn’t want to use their rent money to buy something that looks like the unholy child of a varsity jacket and an American Apparel bodysuit? B-holes will pop from the hotness of it all when you hit the streets while wearing that sweater and your clear knee mom jeans.

Barneys is selling a prude version of this sweater for ONLY $1,150. I say “prude,” because it’s not sheer. Barneys hates nipples, basically. SSENSE was selling the nipple-baring version for $1,650, but it’s sold out now. Either SSENSE only had one for sale, or Scientology bought every single one and is using it as their new uniform for Tom Cruise’s Bathhouse Boys Academy.

While many are wondering why that thing exists, I’m sure there’s at least one person who’s glad it does. Somewhere out there, a rich bitch who suffers from constantly cold arms and overheated nipples just fell in love.

Pic: SSENSE

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