John Mayer’s Penis Is Finally Woke Thanks To Nicki Minaj

September 10, 2017 / Posted by:

In a now infamous interview with Playboy back in 2010, easy listening goon John Mayer revealed that he didn’t have romantic relationships with women of color. His reason? It was because his David Duke cock is “sort of like a white supremacist.

Police interviews with prolific serial killers are less appalling. Luckily, John’s dick seems to have matured in the last seven years. Either that or he’s had most of the white broads in Hollywood and thought he’d try it with the black ladies. You would think most of these women would take a hard pass, but it looks like John has ONE fan in the female black celebrity community.

John’s other hobby besides making really boring music is tweeting dumb things. The latest was his admission on Friday that he wants to show Nicki Minaj his anaconda.

You would think the notoriously-unafraid-to-read-a-fool Nicki would have told him where to stick his formerly racist cock (after asking one of her nail file carriers who he was). But no, it turns out that Nicki likes him enough to flirt back by referencing the only song by him that she knows. Don’t fall for his hypnosis dick, Nicki!

Really, Nicki? He’s been with Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry. It’s like a pop music harem of basic bitches. You might catch something!

John, whose penis seems to have only just left the alt-right, was floored.

Someone must’ve managed to fill Nicki in on John’s former KKKock, because she quickly backpedaled.

Despite Nicki obviously coming to her senses, I’m glad that John’s dick finally put down the Party City tiki torch. I guess?


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