Sorry, Kevin Hart, But The Rock Will Only Half-Participate In Your Hurricane Relief Challenge

August 29, 2017 / Posted by:

A lot of us have been watching the awful devastation Hurricane Harvey has caused in parts of Southeastern Texas, and have been wondering what the hell we can do to help. Although if you’re Texas televangelical pastor Joel Osteen, you’ve already got it figured out (ie. you keep the doors of your megachurch locked until people on the internet point out you’re pretty much guaranteeing yourself a place in Hell unless you open them).

The general consensus is that money helps. Kevin Hart wanted to do something, so on Sunday, he went on Instagram and started his own Hurricane Harvey challenge. He called out his rich friends by name and challenged them to donate $25,000 to the Red Cross. One of the people he called out was his Central Intelligence co-star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The Rock accepted the challenge, except for the part about calling out his celebrity friends. He made it very clear that he wasn’t going to do that.

Here’s Kevin’s first video asking his friends to open their wallets and help the people of Houston, Texas out. He originally donated $25,000, but later upped the amount to $50,000.

Yesterday, The Rock posted this response. Oh, he’ll happily donate the money. But he absolutely won’t be financially guilt-tripping his rich and famous friends:

“Kevin Hart, you issued the Hurricane Harvey Challenge. I appreciate you brother. I just donated my $25,000 to the Red Cross. My companies are donating money…I’m not going to call out my celebrity friends, you guys already know what to do in terms of donating money.”

I do understand how naming-names might get awkward. Beyonce has reportedly already donated quite a bit of money. So I doubt she’s going to participate. Besides, imagine if she did and she didn’t call out Michelle Williams? People would be like “Was that because she doesn’t think Michelle can afford it, or did she just straight-up forget about Michelle again?

So The Rock won’t call out his friends, but he will call out Kevin Hart’s request to call out your friends. Shady! But The Rock sort of missed a huge opportunity by not calling out the only actor who made more money than him this year, Mark Wahlberg. It’s the same strategy I used when I was a kid selling Girl Guide cookies; zero in on the person with the biggest wallet, you know they’re good for at least a case.


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