John Mayer Is Trying To Score Dates On Instagram Now

August 25, 2017 / Posted by:

You’ve got to wonder if John Mayer has ever seen a rom-com before. Because his definition of a “meet cute” is kind of sweaty. Last year, after breaking up with Katy Perry, John went on Watch What Happens Live and announced that he was ready to settle down. And then he said he was “excited for a meet cute.” Well, this week he seems to have lowered his expectations and settled for a “meet creep” instead. Page Six says he got on The ‘gram and hit up some lady’s dad, David Foster, for an intro.

It all happened when music producer (and former husband of Yolanda) David Foster posted a picture to Instagram yesterday of himself and his daughter Erin Foster in honor of her 35th birthday.

?one of the loves of my life and my fav daughter on this day!!! Happy bday @erinfoster #iloveyou

A post shared by David Foster (@davidfoster) on

And then John Mayer slithered along and inserted himself into the picture by way of the comments section.

Upon seeing the image, Mayer took to the comment section to express his interest. “Can you put a good word in for me?” Mayer, 39, wrote.

Gross! Not cute, John. You know what would be cuter? Not making every little thing about yourself. We get it, your ex piece is doing thangs and you’re feeling overshadowed and lonely, so you’re just hanging out here trolling Instagram looking for a new lady to love you. Surely there is some lady out there who you could actually meet cutely! Have you tried walking up and down Fifth Avenue with a cup of coffee (lukewarm please; we’re trying to meet cute, not meet a burn ward and a lawsuit), searching for an unsuspecting gal to “accidentally” bump into? If that doesn’t work, there’s always eHarmony.

P.S. I must admit, I drew a bit of a blank on who this David Foster character is. But a bit of research gave me my answers (sexy saxophone answers, to be exact). John Mayer, leave David Foster alone! But if you must, I guess you could try to woo your ladies with this:


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