U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin had a hard enough time as it was being the guy in charge of all the cash under President Cheeto. His wife isn’t making things any easier. People reports Steve’s wife, 36-year-old Scottish-born actress Louise Linton, unfortunately hasn’t sipped whatever tranquility tea it is that Melania Trump guzzles every morning so she can make it through the day silently seething over how her gold digging path went so far astray. You know, normal politico bride-style shit.
No, no, Louise lives in a world where she is Kylie Jenner, and the tarmac at Andrews Air Force Base is where you work the ho stroll and show those 3’s gumming for tickets to the next political convention how a 10 does it. And maybe throw up a promoted post for matcha tea. Nothing wrong with that, no? WRONG.
Louise posted to Instagram a photo of her leaving a government jet with Steve following behind like Lisa Vanderpump’s dog Giggy. The post (now behind the veil of Instagram privacy) said, “Great #daytrip to #Kentucky!” The caption also included shout outs to Tom Ford, Hermès, Valentino, and Roland Mouret – labels Kentucky hasn’t seen since Oliver dragged Lisa to the boonies in Green Acres. Luckily for us, a sneaky sleuth got a screenshot of the post:
— Margarita Noriega (@margarita) August 22, 2017
People came for Louise. Jenni Miller, a mother of three from Oregon, commented “Glad we could pay for your little getaway #deplorable.” Normal politicians stay above the fray and just ignore the people until it’s an election year, but not Louise! She said of that crunchy granola hippie, “I’d say let them eat cake, but that basic probably has a gluten and dairy allergy.” Actually, she didn’t. She allegedly said worse:
“Awe!!! Did you think this was a personal trip? Adorable! Do you think the US govt paid for our honeymoon or personal travel?! Lololol. I’m pretty sure we paid more taxes toward our day ‘trip’ than you did. Pretty sure the amount we sacrifice per year is a lot more than you’d be willing to sacrifice if the choice was yours.”
Per Wikipedia, Steve is worth about $300 million, was a Goldman Sachs executive, and a hedge fund manager. Louise self-published a memoir about a year she spent in Zambia that eventually had to get taken down for its inaccurate depiction of life in Africa. Louise, why are you using that royal “we” regarding taxes?! Jenni is probably paying more in taxes for her Pinot Noir farm in Oregon (in my head, everyone from Oregon has a Pinot Noir farm) than your “memoir.” Nevertheless, Louise proved she’s totally that person who goes deep, deep, deeeeep into an ex-boo thang’s Insta and accidentally hits like on a photo from 2011:
“Your kids look very cute. Your life looks cute. I know you’re mad but deep down you’re really nice and so am I. Sending me passive aggressive Instagram comments isn’t going to make life feel better.”
Why be passive aggressive when you can go total scorched-earth policy like the wife of the Treasury Secretary?! Louise and Steve got married in June at a ceremony attended by most of the Dementors from Harry Potter Queen Melania, Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, America’s Top Twink Model Jared Kushner, and Vice President Mike Pence. Upon saying, “I do,” Louise looked out at the crowd and heckled, “Do I smell a Club Monaco sundress? If I SEE a Club Monaco sundress when we do the electric slide later, I will be verrrrrrry disappointed.” No she didn’t, but there’s never a wrong opportunity to rewrite a Miranda Priestly line into something an uppity Republican wench might say.