Scary Spice Says She’s Single

August 16, 2017 / Posted by:

It hasn’t been very long since we learned that a newly-single Mel B was off the market, and the new man in her life was a Beverly Hills cop. When I heard that news, my mind immediately went to the image of Mel B humping a dude in half a cop uniform while blasting Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer on repeat. It sounds like my imagination ran a little too wild too fast, because according to Mel B herself, she’s single.

TMZ says Mel made the admission last night during the Quarterfinals of America’s Got Talent. It happened while she was getting all horny during a critique of “Some Nights” by the Air Force Academy’s a cappella group In The Stairwell.

“Your harmonies, they’re just so yummy. There’s fifteen of you, right? You all look really good. I love that you still kept the kind of awkward choreography, I love that. I love that about you guys. And yes, I am so happy to be single right now!”

There’s a very big, huge chance Mel B was throwing out an exaggerated fib to keep the details of her private life a little more private. Or maybe her brain changed her relationship status from “Sort-of taken” to “OH YES VERY SINGLE” the second all those hot soldiers stepped on stage. But for the time being, her story is that she’s single. TMZ doubts that, but I don’t know. I’m inclined to believe it, and I’m basing that decision solely off of the gorgeous beaded bodysuit she wore to America’s Got Talent last night.

Premiere of NBC's 'America's Got Talent' Season 12

Yes, that is a nude illusion bodysuit. Yes, that is a cluster of gems strategically placed over her vagina and nipples. Yes, I too have no idea how she peed in that thing, but it doesn’t matter. That ensemble is not meant for comfort, it’s for pulling post-show 10s and 11s. She looks like a bottle of Love Potion #69. Who wouldn’t want a piece of Scary looking like Mystique’s fun Las Vegas cousin Mysteree?


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