It hasn’t been very long since we learned that a newly-single Mel B was off the market, and the new man in her life was a Beverly Hills cop. When I heard that news, my mind immediately went to the image of Mel B humping a dude in half a cop uniform while blasting Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer on repeat. It sounds like my imagination ran a little too wild too fast, because according to Mel B herself, she’s single.
TMZ says Mel made the admission last night during the Quarterfinals of America’s Got Talent. It happened while she was getting all horny during a critique of “Some Nights” by the Air Force Academy’s a cappella group In The Stairwell.
“Your harmonies, they’re just so yummy. There’s fifteen of you, right? You all look really good. I love that you still kept the kind of awkward choreography, I love that. I love that about you guys. And yes, I am so happy to be single right now!”
There’s a very big, huge chance Mel B was throwing out an exaggerated fib to keep the details of her private life a little more private. Or maybe her brain changed her relationship status from “Sort-of taken” to “OH YES VERY SINGLE” the second all those hot soldiers stepped on stage. But for the time being, her story is that she’s single. TMZ doubts that, but I don’t know. I’m inclined to believe it, and I’m basing that decision solely off of the gorgeous beaded bodysuit she wore to America’s Got Talent last night.
Yes, that is a nude illusion bodysuit. Yes, that is a cluster of gems strategically placed over her vagina and nipples. Yes, I too have no idea how she peed in that thing, but it doesn’t matter. That ensemble is not meant for comfort, it’s for pulling post-show 10s and 11s. She looks like a bottle of Love Potion #69. Who wouldn’t want a piece of Scary looking like Mystique’s fun Las Vegas cousin Mysteree?