Everybody knows that dogs are shady as fuck. My dog Professor Owen (RIP) used to pull some real cold-blooded shit on me. He had selective hearing and would ghost me at the dog park all the time. He humped legs, even worse, he once humped a young boy who was on his hands and knees playing. He stole a hot dog from a child’s hand and horked it down in seconds. He somehow managed to get up on the dining room table and eat an entire pecan pie which I was planning on eating as my post Thanksgiving breakfast pie. He’d eat cat shit and then lick your face. Once he disappeared and I found him on my neighbors ROOF looking for a damn squirrel. He was a real asshole and I loved him to bits.
I would hate to see Owen put through the test that Judge Judy puts a seemingly good dog Baby Boy through, in the clip below.
At first I thought it was going to be some kind of Kramer vs. Kramer test where Baby Boy would have to choose which of his parents he wants to live with. Thankfully that’s not the case. According to People:
The woman in possession of Baby Boy insists she legally bought the dog from someone selling the pet on the street. The other individual claims that he was Baby Boy’s owner before this sale, and that the pup was taken from him and sold to the dog’s current owner without his knowledge. He understandably wants Baby Boy back.
Baby Boy exhibited no hesitation in showing his rightful owner some love. I have to admit, I squirted out some salty eye juice (Sorry, Michael K. Oh wait, you can’t read this anyway, NM) when I saw how happy Baby Boy and his papa were to be reunited. Owen would probably have waltzed into the courtroom, run right past me and over to Judy and tinkled on her robe, because that’s just the kind of asshole he was. I loved that little fucker. He was a bad doggy, but he was a good boy, know what I mean?