Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey’s Vocal Tonic

August 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Mariah Carey may have had her legs insured for $70 million dollars, but her precious vocal cords are out here swaying in the wind, vulnerable to all manner of insults to their integrity. Thankfully, Mimi has a few tricks up her sleeve to protect her golden 5 octave voice that she definitely, absolutely 100% still uses at all of her concerts to sing live. Mimi’s secret weapon is honey and she puts it in her champagne, as we learn in this stimulating Entertainment Tonight clip below.

Do you think Mimi can’t keep her eyes open because she is sleepy or is it because her false eyelashes are too heavy? They are probably made from mink and stuck on using the glue from Secretariat’s great grandson. I particularly love the way she mimes how she drinks her honey champers by making little chipmunk noises. I don’t think she actually drinks from a glass like a normal person. She has one of her manservants dip a silk rag into the the glass and daubs it on her lips like you would an abandoned kitten or a shipwreck victim. And can’t nobody tell Mimi she didn’t invent honey wine. Everybody knows the Egyptians had honey wine, but who the hell do you think invented Egypt, Dahlings?


Our commenting rules are pretty simple: Don't be racist or bigoted, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >