Open Post: Hosted By Brit Brit Spears Shocking Humanity By Actually Singing Live 

June 30, 2017 / Posted by:

First the likes of Adele and Celine Dion learn that Katie Price is back in the live singing game, and now they’re learning that Britney Spears is singing live during her shows. This is probably the real reason why Adele might retire from touring. How can she ever compete with the live vocal stylings of the Cheetos chanteuse?

It was reported that Brit Brit is the frontrunner to receive the Mark Twain Prize for Humor this year when she said in an interview that she doesn’t lip-synch in concerts and sings live with playback. Uh huh, next she’s going to tell us that those blond polyester tracks in her hair are naturally grown. But to really shut us hating bitches up, Britney decided to open up her exquisite yodel hole and sing live. During her show in Singapore, Brit told the audience that it was her special friend and bodyguard Jacob’s birthday and she wanted to give him the rare and flawless gift of her live singing voice. Brit opened up her mouth and made ears everywhere feel a new kind of special when she sang Happy Birthday while sounding like a baby cooing on a roller coaster.

Britney isn’t the only one who should get credit for that stunning performance. So should the sound people, because when they were told to turn on her mic, they probably panicked and said, “How do we even do that?!” Happy Birthday is Brit Brit’s go-to live singing song. She sang it to L.A. Reid when she was on the X-Factor. So she should really record it live. I would say that it’d outsell Whitney Houston’s live version of the Star-Spangled Banner but I don’t need the ghost of Nippy giving me a much-deserved slap to the mouth.


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