Michael Phelps Is Going To Race A Shark

The man who scoffs at Aquaman’s tired dog-paddling, Michael Phelps, is so over racing ordinary humans in the pool. For his next trick, the multiple Olympic gold winner is going to RACE A SHARK. And no, it’s not going to require Ryan Lochte taking his dumb ass to Party City to look for a shark costume. We’re talking an actual fins-and-teeth, “GET OUT OF THE WATER!“-type shark.

USA Today reports that, as part of the Discovery Channel’s annual Shark Week, the DUI-collecting merman took on a shark in South Africa. At a panel discussion in New York this week, Michael talked about how much he loves sharks.

“We just got off a plane from South Africa yesterday, we were down there for about a week. That one was fun, doing some stuff with Shark Week and for me, sharks are like my no. 1 favorite animal in the world, being able to see them face to face was pretty cool.”

Michael posted a pic on Instagram of one of the sharks he hung out with gliding casually past a shark cage. Normally, the only “Shark Week” shows I watch are the reenactments of terrifying shark attacks, because it reminds me to never go into the ocean further than ankle-deep. But I kind of want to see this mess. Did they set up two lanes in the ocean? Or did they bring the shark into the YMCA and give him one of those lanes? They probably saved on swim caps.

Here’s the press release from Discovery Channel:

They are one of the fastest and most efficient predators on the planet: Sharks. He is our greatest champion to ever get in the water: Michael Phelps. 39 world records. 23 Olympic golds. But he has one competition left to win. An event so monumental no one has ever attempted it before. The world’s most decorated athlete takes on the ocean’s most efficient predator: Phelps V Shark – the race is on! Produced by Peacock Productions.

What will Michael race next – a speedboat? He’d probably win!

This event may seem ridiculous and will probably be way less exciting than it sounds. Michael’s probably doing it so that “golden showers-loving/panty-wearer” rumor will no longer be the first result when you Google “What’s Michael Phelps up to lately?”.

Pic: Instagram