Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 2, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s that time for April’s Hot Slut of the Month grand champion Chroma Key Grandma to pass the crown to either a curved dildo, Anderson Cooper’s eye roll, a talking chicken or a gay yodeling Montenegrin. A curved dildo, Anderson Cooper’s eye roll, a talking chicken and a gay yodeling Montenegrin sound like the main characters in the weirdest, most fucked-up sex dream ever. Actually, I take that back. I once had a sex dream with Bill O’Reilly and it was definitely more fucked-up and brain-scarring than a sex dream with those four. But let’s move on…

May’s HSOTM showdown is between the second best member of the Mets (after Mr. Met, of course), the eye roll we all felt, an 80s icon and a Montenegrin legend. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month and the fourth finalist was picked by me. Your choices for are:

The Mets dildo – Usually when you hear about a big dildo making an appearance in the locker room of a New York baseball team, you think to yourself, “It was nice of Alex Rodriguez to visit his old Yankees teammates.” But an actual dildo made an appearance in a Twitter picture taken in the Mets locker room and it became the star of the night.

Anderson Cooper’s eye roll – After months and months of successfully fighting the urge to bust out an eye roll over some dumb shit that Kellyanne Conway said, The Silver Fox couldn’t fight it anymore and eye rolled for us all after she said some dumb shit.

Billina – The talking chicken from Return of Oz who showed up Toto and became Dorothy’s most useful pet when she saved the day.

Slavko Kalezić – The pucker-inducing chanteuse from Montenegro who used his clip-on ponytail of glamour to whip his way into the hearts of the people and become the true winner of Eurovision in my eyes.

Voting is below. May’s Hot Slut of the Month winner will be announced next Friday!


Pics: @Mets, CNN, Walt Disney Company, Instagram

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