Kim Kardashian West’s ass-tronomical booty is an entity all its own. Of course we all know it’s faker than a $9 bill. But still, her butt has become her calling card. Unfortunately after years of filling it with all kinds of chemicals, that shit is starting to look like a drunken third graders science project. So Kim is taking measures to make sure her poop chute remains among the elite of hot messes, and her husband Kanye West is 100% on board with Kim’s reconstruction plans.
It should come as no surprise that image is everything for America’s least favorite blow up doll, since her entire career has been based on how she looks. However, earlier this month Radar posted photos of Kim’s hugest asset covered in more cottage cheese than the dairy aisle at Walmart. Shocked and surprised by such heinous images, her fans began to wonder if Kimmy had been using Photoshop in pics to make her ass look smoother. And of course the answer to that question is, “The fuck is wrong wit’ y’all??”
Well, Kim is ready to retire from the world of digital media correction and return to her house of worship (AKA the plastic surgeons office) to get injected with more byproducts than cheap hot dogs to maintain her caca maker’s ridiculous shape and size. And this time Kim isn’t making the decision alone. An insider tells Radar that Kanye was so upset at Kim’s unflattering pictures, that he’s supporting her efforts to ensure her ass remains the top attraction in the Kardashian-West House of Fame Whores.
“He was just as humiliated and pissed off as Kim about those pictures. Kanye’s worked his own butt off trying to cast the perfect image of them and she’s blown it. He can’t believe the state of it and this time — for the first time ever — he’s behind her getting her butt fixed.”
I always thought that Kanye was against plastic surgery since his mom, Donda West, passed away from complications during a routine procedure back in 2007. And earlier this year, Kanye was pleading with Kim to stop running back to be freshened up under the knife.
Still, I guess image is everything, because they’re both on the same page with Kim’s repairs, which include “fat transfer, lipo contouring, cellulite lasers and fillers.” Cellulite lasers, though? That sounds painful. Wouldn’t it just be easier to do a few squats or something? It’s not like Kim doesn’t already know how to buss it wide open. Then again, why work out when you can have someone that gets paid a fuck load of money carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey? Gobble gobble, bitch.
Here’s another look at that ass before it goes under another live version of Photoshop.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Kris Jenner wasn’t the mastermind behind all of this. She was probably the one who sent the pictures to Radar in the first place to get her bottom bitch Kim in line with yearly ass maintenance. Y’all know she keeps her pimp hand strong.