Open Post: Hosted By Katy Perry As A Cannibal Stripper In Her Video For Bon Appetit 

May 12, 2017 / Posted by:

If Adore Delano did herself up in Kylie Jenner drag to do a cannibal cooking for show Playboy TV and she used old set pieces from Lady Gaga videos, the end product may look like Katy Perry’s video for Bon Appetit.

Katy said that she’s done with farting up bubble gum pop and she’s doing purposeful pop now. I guess part of her new purpose is promoting cannibalism! Katy’s video starts out with her looking like a still-in-the-wrapper Kylie Jenner Real Doll and she gets pulled out of her plastic covering by a bunch of chefs who are definitely graduates of Le Cordon Ewwww. They push her into a pool of flour and rub her down and stretch her out Stretch Armstrong-style as she busts several nuts on the inside. If you’re a flour fetishist, that little part is the fap material that’ll keep you busy all weekend. I hope none of that flour got into Katy’s down-low parts, because she could get a yeast infection, and the yeast mixed with the flour could lead to her queefing out a bread roll.

The chefs then throw chopped vegetables on her body as they wheel her to a hot tub full of broth. L.A. chef Roy Choi flambés her tongue before taking her into a dining room and serving her to a table of rich human-eaters. But there’s a plot twist! Katy’s not going to get eaten, those rich bitches are. As the chefs blindfold, strip (???) and kill the guests, Katy works a stripper pole for some reason. I guess she figured that since she’s copying Halsey and Lady Gaga, she may as well copy Miley Cyrus too. It ends with Katy about to dig into a pie filled with what looks like cartoon human feet. Sweeney Todd approves!

And yes, Tom Petty did the whole cannibal music video thing better, but at least Katy Perry earned a new fan (Hannibal) out of this, so there’s that!

Pic: YouTube

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