The Met Gala is going down tonight, so right now, many “glam squads” are slathering celebrities in multi-million dollar jewels, couture gowns worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, makeup made from blended tiger fetuses and weaves spun from gold. They can try all they want but they won’t ever come close to touching the natural glamour, beauty and perfection that Shauna Sand and Courtney Stodden delivered in Las Vegas over the weekend. And it didn’t take a glam squad and $150,000 gowns to turn them into twin pillars of immaculate gorgeousness. It just took an old dress bought at Angelyne’s garage sale, a hot pink cover-up bought at a stripper store in a Tampa mini-mall, a gallon of lead-based paint in shade burnt sienna (for Shauna), a sack of generic brand flour (for Courtney) and drugstore makeup, which they put on their faces in the gas station bathroom a block from the venue. Who needs a dumb glam squad when you’ve got natural beauty and a discounted tube of Wet N Wild lipstick?
The Porn Iguana celebrated her totally not staged breakup from creepy-faced Doug Hutchison by collecting a check for hosting her own “divorce party” at the strip club Crazy Horse III in Las Vegas on Saturday night. The Porn Iguana was gracious enough to bring along fellow delicate blonde orchid The Empress of Lucite. The last time these two deities of potent grace joined forces for attention, there wasn’t a dry crotch in the place. So I’m sure that the streets of Las Vegas were flooded with dick jizz and panty pudding when Shauna and Courtney struck bi-curious poses at Crazy Horse III.
Like the last pictures of The Empress of Lucite and The Porn Iguana, these pictures will be studied by art students for years to come. Shauna looks like a Helen of Troy statue sculpted out of the finest terra cotta, and Courtney looks like an Aphrodite statue sculpted out of the finest marble. They both look like candles melting in heaven. Stunning!
Here’s many more pictures of The Empress of Lucite and The Porn Iguana at the
Mess Gala Courtney’s divorce party in Las Vegas on Saturday night. Keep some smelling salts handy, because you’ll need to wake up your genitals after they pass out from all of this hotness and sophistication.