Michael Fassbender Is Aware That He’s Hotter Than Tom Hiddleston

April 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Penis objectification denouncer Michael Fassbender is out shilling the new Alien: We Really Gotta Stop Just Standing There And Waiting For The Facehugger To Leap Out Of The Egg And Suck On To Our Mugs flick.

Michael, who plays his Prometheus android character as well as another identical android in the new Alien, says that he’s mistaken for TomI ♥ T.S.Hiddleston all the time. The Daily Telegraph (via The Daily Mail) reveals that Michael says he feels that he’s much hotter than Tom. Of course he’s sexier, he’s never been with Taylor Swift. The mark of Tay Tay messes with a guy’s hotness.

And he feels the comparisons are faulty. They’re faulty because he’s young, hot Magneto and gets blown by guys in movies! Let’s see Loki and his stupid horns do that. AND, he probably has a bigger penis. We’ve all seen that cock of the walk he did in Shame (Tom’s Tumblr nation is going to find me for that one).

“Happens all the time,” he joked.

“I can see the similarities, but I’m better looking than him,” he added with a laugh.

Damn right! You don’t have to stick the laugh in there just to make like you’re joking so Tom will feel better. He’ll be fine. After all, he singlehandedly saved South Sudan, so he always got that accomplishment to fall back if he’s having trouble landing ladies. Girls like a humblebragger, right?

Other reasons why Michael > Tom? He’s never worn a I ♥ A.V. Club tank top. If this were Studs, I’d totally be the 1990s girl in the spandex sheathe minidress with the crispy bangs that chooses you, Michael.


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