Open Post: Hosted By Ellie Goulding Wearing I Don’t Even Know (And I Don’t Think She Knows Either) 

April 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Celebitchy had a post today about how the owner of an ever-changing face, Ellie Goulding, sometimes doesn’t shower after she sweats her pores off while working out. I don’t work out, but I’ve been around people after they’ve worked out and some of them reek like over-worn socks boiling in onion and cumin broth. But Ellie Goulding says she doesn’t stank. I don’t believe her. Look at that picture. She obviously looks woozy in the face and cross-eyed because she got a giant whiff of the moist clouds of armpit gravy wafting up into her nostrils. Ellie being a little dizzy from her own stank would also explain why she agreed to wear that dress.

At the Omega ‘Lost in Space’ 60th Anniversary of Speedmaster event (I don’t know what those words mean either) in London last night, Ellie showed up wearing a dress that looks like a mash-up of prom looks from throughout the years. That black lace part is from a prom dress from the 80s. That black fishnet part is from a prom dress from the 90s. And that black cloth part is from a prom dress that was worn to a prom last week. It also looks like she was invited to a Madonna-themed cocktail party where the dress code is “Dress like your favorite Madonna” and she didn’t know if she should do “Lucky Star Madonna” or “Desperately Seeking Susan Madonna,” so she went as both. But really, that is the perfect dress to wear to a Lost in Space party, because it looks like Ellie’s head and her stylist’s head were floating through the universe when they went with that look.

And here’s more pictures from last night’s event including some of Panty Creamer Hall of Famer David Gandy and George Clooney hamming it up like he’s working the vaudeville circuit or some shit.

Pics: Wenn.com

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