Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Hostess Grizzly Chomps!

In 1991, Hostess finally delivered a totally healthy dessert snack. Yes, Hostess Grizzly Chops probably had enough sugar in ’em to give a small bear early onset diabetes, but it was 97% fat free! Grizzly Chomps was a fat-free chocolate cupcake that had sprinkles on top of it, and every single one had a bite already taken out of it. My mother would’ve rather bought me crack than a Hostess cake (she was a middle-class Goopy Paltrow back then), but if she bought me Grizzly Chomps, my abuelita would’ve demanded she go back to the store and ask for a refund since that crap has already been eaten.

Grizzly Chomps’ mascot was a cartoon bear named Grizzly B who looked more like a fat cartoon wolf. Grizzly B dressed like Jeff Spicoli and talked like Rude Dog after Rude Dog smoked 20 packs of cigarettes in a row and gargled with shredded nails. Grizzly B was also an unapologetic asshole, because he admitted that he’s the one who took a bite out of all those cupcakes.

The tagline for Grizzly Chomps was, “I start ’em, you can finish ’em,” which sounds like the tagline for a tag team in a threesome. Grizzly Chomps didn’t last long and probably because stores stopped carrying it since they were sick of parents demanding a discount for not getting the whole damn cupcake (see: my abuelita’s predicted response).

Pic: Flickr

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