Amber Heard Feels That Every Closeted Gay Celebrity Should Come Out

March 25, 2017 / Posted by:

That fishy Amber Heard chick (I’m referring to her upcoming role as Queen of the Seven Seas in Justice League, of course) has an opinion about gayness in Hollywood. Proud bi Amber says come out, come out, wherever you are. (Where they are is what Leah Remini is currently working overtime to destroy! Get HER to clean out those thetan closets, Amber.)

Vulture says that Amber appeared at The Economist’s “Pride & Prejudice” LGBTQ summit this week, and reflected on her decision to come out as being into anything with a pulse and whatever equipment tickled her fancy that day in 2010.

“I just answered honestly. I could tell by the look on this person’s face it was a big deal. My poor publicist,” the actress said, recalling the After Ellen interview in which she discussed her then girlfriend Tasya van Ree. “Then I realized the gravity of what I had done and why so many people — studio execs, agents, advisors — did not want this coming before my name. I became attached to a label. I’ve never seen myself defined by the person I’m with.”

Amber was most recently defined by a loooonng and uggglllyy divorce battle with accessories champion Johnny Depp. She’d probably appreciate going back to being defined by her sexual preferences at this point. Amber spoke on how she was determined to prove the Hollywood behind-the-scenes bitches wrong when they told her being open with her sexual fluidity meant she couldn’t portray characters that weren’t. Amber also praised the other ladies who are out and about when it comes to with what gender they’re having sweaty fun. She then turned her attention to the menfolk.

One of the most important steps toward progress, she suggests, is her male counterparts deciding to push back harder. Said Heard, “If every gay man that I know personally in Hollywood came out tomorrow, then this would be a nonissue in a month.”

Can I come out on my own time, Amber?” – every actor in Hollywood. I once had a douchey straight dude tell me that the ginger beef couple on Modern Family opened his douchey eyes to just how completely boring and uncontroversial gay people actually are in society. (“My people thank you,” I cracked.) Cam and Mitchell aren’t real life, but Amber’s got a point when it comes to public representations of gayness. But aren’t we all already assuming that every dude on a screen has had a penis either in them or their penis in something WITH a penis at some point in their lives? When I watch TV or a movie, I’m totally assuming everyone is gay or gay-adjacent. It’s show business. Unless she means those Duck Dynasty guys. People like those dirty beardos suddenly coming out as swamp gays might make an actual difference to the homophobic idiots out there whom I assume like that bigot grandpappy dude.


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