In Sad News, Josh Duggar Knocked Up His Wife With Baby #5
Incestuous wonder (it’s a wonder why his ass isn’t in jail) Josh Duggar and his wife Anna have revealed via The Duggar Family blog post that they’re expecting their fifth child. Ok, we’re going to need Team Pussy Grabs Back to stage some sort of feminist commando raid on the Duggar House of Horrors and snatch Anna’s ass out of there, because this ain’t right.
On the unfortunate Duggar family blog (“Come for the overpopulation efforts on behalf of Jesus, stay for the crazy eyes and enslaved human incubators!“), the couple wrote that they “cannot wait to see and kiss the face of this sweet new boy!” Hopefully Anna wrote that because Josh has a slightly outré view of what’s appropriate when it comes to shows of familial affection.
And yes, it’s a boy. So at least there’s going to be one less Duggar woman allegedly forced to have babies rocketing out of her uterus like it was the Autobahn. The Duggars at least had the decency to allude to the revelation that Josh is a hypocritical creepshow who got caught.
For nearly the last two years, we have quietly worked to save our marriage, focus on our children, and rebuild our lives together as a family. Doing so is never easy after a breach of trust. We’ve learned that a life of faith and rebuilding a life together is simply done one day at a time.
This kid might be the most ill-conceived (literally) band-aid baby in existence.
Q: How do you save a marriage wherein the husband has sexually assaulted his sisters and other victims, as well as cheated on you via Ashley Madison? A: BRING ANOTHER HUMAN INTO IT.
But that’s all in the past. As the rehabbed-by-Christ Josh and poor, assuredly traumatized Anna point out in their post – “beauty comes from ashes.” This is really a story about a tubby phoenix, renewed and rising! And what about baby names? May we suggest, “Help Duggar?” Or how about, “Don’t Cry Mommy Duggar?” Maybe even, “Get Me The F**k Out Of Here Duggar,” or is that already taken by another Duggar baby unit?
Pic: Instagram